REFLECTION PAPER - JTA

My JTA stay in San Francisco has taught me so much things and Armand was right, it made me a better person and it made me discover who I really am. I not only learned how to survive by myself or cook or use public transportation but I gained insights and views on life that staying in Ateneo or in the Philippines would not give me. I know I gave up so much for this, but it's all worth it. My family said they were proud of me. Shaun said he was proud of me. Well, you know what, I am proud of myself too.

I remember that very day my family brought me to the airport, there was a minute there I regretted joining JTA and I didn't want to leave the Philippines, in all honesty. I wanted to stay because I was afraid of what is to come. I was afraid of being all alone in a country that I have never visited all my life. I was afraid of not having a rock, my family, there to tell me what to do or to run to in times of need. I was afraid of not having any friends because of the different culture. I was afraid I am going to starve to death (or gain so much weight because of eating take-outs) because I never cooked at home. I was afraid of getting lost or just being stuck at the apartment 'cause I never commuted, I never ventured out or went to places alone. Living a very sheltered life at home did not give me enough life experiences, I guess. That's why I was afraid of so many things; because I never was alone, or shall I say, I never was this independent. But this experience made me taste what life was truly about, or the good side of life anyway. I know it was easy cause I had instant money, I didn't have to work and money was always there, but nonetheless, I learned a lot. I was able to cook food on my own (and Shaun said they were good too, yay! haha!), I was able to ride the buses and go to the malls alone, to go shopping at my own leisure and time and to even watch a movie I wanted. I was able to make friends from different races and culture but most of all, I was able to experience diversity at its best. I was able to take complete control of my life, and I loved it.

JTA made me taste what life was really about and I have no regrets or whatsoever going here in USF. I know at first I was scared cause USF only had one slot but unlimited tuition paying. I never thought someone would pay to go here but at least someone did. I'm glad Daniel went here cause it helped to have someone with you along the way (though we only got to hang out at the beginning and eventually went with other friends we had).  I thought that if we were 4-10 JTA people at USF, it wont be the same. You wont get the same fears I did and would not get the same pleasure of conquering them, of knowing you were able to do it.

Fiona, you were able to do it - these 4 months.

And damn right you should be proud of yourself. It's not the travels, the sights, the new stuff you bought but it is that journey of self-discovery that meant the most to me. Even though JTA ended and I'm back to my old life again, I know I came back a changed person. A changed and  more mature person, hungry for life and what the future holds.

I just want to thank God for giving me this opportunity, for my family for allowing me and for all the friends I've made and have helped me go through this along the way (you know who you guys are!). I know I wasn't ready to go, 'cause I honestly didn't want to leave just yet. I wanted a few more weeks or months maybe. But it's time for me to go back to my family I dearly missed so much. This was enough and maybe someday in the future, I might be coming back there. Who knows? But for now, it's a pleasant farewell and thank you.